Friday, April 30, 2021

Plant Extracts

We have a little alcove-shelf in our shower. And for the past couple of months I've been looking at this:


And for the life of me, I can't figure out why "contains 100% PURE plant extracts" is supposed to impress me. This is just such an incredibly vacuous statement, presented as if it is of utmost importance.

What percentage of the 800 mL is made up of these pure plant extracts? Is it "Zero. Zero is a percentage."*

Which plant extracts? Hopefully not cyanide from apple seeds. Or anything from poison ivy. 

And what exactly would a less than 100% plant extract be? Either it is a plant extract or it isn't, to it's 100% or 0%.

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* From a Simpsons episode where Lisa goes on a class trip to the local newspaper, and the marketing rep tells the students the paper is made from a percentage of recycled paper, and Lisa asks what percentage. And this quote is the answer.

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